Neighborhood watch equals government failure

Article by Colonel Nogov on July 24, 2015


One of the primary goals of government, at least as I’m told by statists, is crime prevention.  Apparently without government protecting us from each other, we would all just be a bunch of wild animals robbing, raping and killing each other.  This is provably false.  Read FBI statistics on just how few people actually commit violent crime.  That aside, here is another example of government failing to meet its primary goal(as statists see it).

So, there you are.  You’ve just bought a new house in a decent neighborhood.  Along with this shiny new house comes a property tax burden.  A burden that never ends, I might add.  You must pay this burden your entire life.  That means you must have income your entire life to pay this burden or the government will take it.  The house that you supposedly own can be taken from you if you fail to pay for it up until the day you die.  Hell, even the bankers let you off the hook after 30 years.  But, I’m sidetracked.  This is another issue.

So, you’ve got your shiny new house and your shiny new property tax bill.  Among other things, the property taxes you pay goes to fund the local police department.  This police department, if you’ll remember, is there for crime prevention.  Its alleged purpose is to protect you and your property from others.  After all it says it right there on their patrol cars:  To Protect and Serve.

Silly peasant.  Did you really think the government’s police force was there for your protection?  They’re way to busy robbing motorists to protect your property.  Besides, you’re forced to pay them.  You have no choice.  Failure to pay your property taxes results in confiscation of your property by the government.  Because you are forced to pay the police, there’s really no incentive for them to do anything further for you.  You pay whether you’re happy with the services provided or not.  Tough shit, I guess.

To put this into perspective the following depicts the government’s crime prevention system.

Citizen:  I’d like to hire you to protect my property, could you tell me a little bit about your service.

A1 govt security inc:  Why certainly sir.  First of all, the service costs $500 per month.  So, what you do then is get together with all your neighbors and set up a kind of community watch program(neighborhood watch).  A system where everyone in the neighborhood watches out for everyone else in the neighborhood.  If one neighbor sees something suspic…

Citizen:  I wasn’t inquiring about the neighborhood watch, I want to know specifically what your service provides not what my neighbors and I do.

A1 govt security inc:  You’re jumping ahead.  I’ll get to that part.  Like I was saying, if one neighbor sees something suspicious, they may make themselves conspicuous to scare off any prowler or turn on lights or honk a car horn.  These kinds of things usually scare off would be criminals.  If you or your neighbors suspect a crime is occurring or someone has forced their way into your house, you can then call our security line.

Citizen:  Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.  I wasn’t really impressed up until this point.  Tell me more about this security line.

A1 govt security inc:  Yes, We’re very proud of our security line.  It’s a quick easy number to dial.  But first, there are some rules for calling the security line.  You can’t call until there is actually a definite emergency situation.  You’ll incur some penalties for calling the security line if it’s not actually an emergency.  (This is in addition to the monthly fee you already pay)  The threat must be imminent.  Occasionally, you can’t get through on the security line.  Just keep trying.  At some point you’ll get through.  Once you’ve reached one of our operators, they will ask you for information on what the emergency is.  This is time consuming, but it’s necessary.  We must determine if there’s an actual emergency or not.  Once we’ve determined there’s an emergency, we’ll send one of our patrolmen to help.  He may arrive there anywhere from a few minutes to possibly an hour or more.  It really just depends on how busy we are.  Once our patrolman arrives, he’ll assess the situation.  Usually this means writing a report.  It’s rare for our patrolman to arrive in time to stop a crime in progress or defend you if your life is threatened.

Citizen:  So, really, you don’t protect me or my property at all.  It’s up to me and my neighbors.

A1 govt security inc:  Sure we do.  Once we’ve written our report, we’ll make a half-assed attempt at solving the crime and retrieving stolen property.

Citizen:  Okay, well how successful are you at that?

A1 govt security inc:  Well in the case of stolen property, we recover people’s property about ten percent of the time.  For murder, we solve about sixty percent of the time.  We’re very proud of our murder solving rate, we’ve beaten the proverbial coin toss.

Citizen:  Your service doesn’t sound very good to me.  You don’t really do anything to protect me or my property from crime.  It sounds like my neighbors and I are on our own.  That we’re the ones actually doing the crime prevention through our neighborhood watch program, not you.  Yet we pay you for the service.  Why do we need your services at all.  I’ve also heard reports of your patrolmen abusing the people who call for help.  Robbery and physical assaults, including rape and murder.

A1 govt security inc:  I’m truly sorry you feel that way sir.  You’re right of course.  You still have to pay us though regardless of what you think of our service.  And because the majority of people think we’re doing a fine job, the price of our service is actually going up.

The government’s alleged crime prevention system does nothing to prevent crime.  It’s after-the-fact attempts at solving crime are horrible.

The private security industry is growing like crazy.  More and more people are demanding private security.  There’s lots of competition, so service is excellent and prices remain low.  The private security industry actually tries to prevent crime.  Patrols, alarm monitoring, property assessment, evaluation, and recommendations, trained personnel that are there for you, because you are their direct employer.

The government crime prevention system, as it is, does next to nothing for citizens.  You either have to take care of yourself, form a coalition with your neighbors, or hire a private security firm.  If the government system disappeared today, almost nothing would change, except the least effective security provider in the market would cease to exist and you would no longer be forced to pay for it.

The question I want an answer to is:  Why do we need government services?