The A-hole in Ancapistan

Fiction by Cal Nogov on Apr. 26, 2016


The following is a work of fiction, any resemblances to any person, organization, or place is purely coincidental.


I often get asked by statists, how would petty annoyances be dealt with in a stateless society?  The following story depicts one way they can be handled.

Johnny Bigballs woke at 3am.  He got dressed and went to the garage.  He got on his Harley and opened the garage door.  Johnny’s Harley is loud.  Louder than any other Harley.  He pulled out onto the common area roads and began driving around town being as loud as he could.

It woke people up.  “This is fun and funny”, Johnny thought to himself.  Some just ignored it and tried to sleep.  Some opened their windows and yelled, “keep it down!”.

“Whoo hoo!  This is ancapistan.  This is great and no one can do a thing about it because that would violate the NAP.  Whoo hoo!  Ancapistan.  Whoo hoo!  NAP.”  Johnny yelled gleefully as he rode around town.

After an hour or so, Johnny got bored and went home to sleep.

When he woke sometime later and was in the bathroom getting ready, he thought, “I forgot to get toothpaste again.  Remember, remember, remember to get toothpaste when I’m out today.”

Johnny left the house and headed for the drug store.  At the drug store Bob told him, “I’m not going to sell you that toothpaste.”

“Why not, I’ve got money”,  Johnny asked.

“Because you’re that dick that wakes me up at 3am riding your loud goddamn motorcycle”

“But, I need toothpaste”

“You should have thought of that before acting like a jerk.”

“Fine, I’ll go somewhere else”

Johnny left the drug store and headed for the grocery store.  “I need groceries anyway”, he thought to himself.

At the Grocery store Fred told Johnny, “I’m not selling you any groceries or toothpaste”

“I need food.  I have a right to food.”  Johnny protested.

“You certainly have the right to grow food, or gather food, or trade with any willing trading partners, but you don’t have the right to force me to trade with you.  I also have the right to trade with who I choose, and I choose not to trade with you because you’re a dick.  By not trading with you, I’m NOT oppressing you.  I’m NOT aggressing against you.  I’m NOT violating your rights in any way.”

“Fine.  I’ll just go to the next town over and get what I need.”

So Johnny headed to the next town over 30 miles away and bought the groceries he needed.  When he got home he realized,  “I forgot the goddamn toothpaste again.  Now I have to make another trip to next town to get it.  My anti-social behavior is really starting to cost me a lot of time and money.  It’s also isolated me here.  I’ve been boycotted by everyone.  Restaurants won’t serve me.  Bars won’t serve me.  They won’t let me bowl at the bowling alley.  Even the hookers have shunned me.”

The next day, Johnny didn’t get up at 3am and ride his Harley around.  He went around town apologizing to people.

“I just wanted to be free”, he said to Fred at the grocery store.

“You are free.  Nobody physically stopped you from riding your motorcycle at night.  Being free also means taking personal responsibility for your actions.  When those actions directly affect other people, you’ll find there are still consequences.”