John and the iPod, a communist story

Fiction by Colonel Nogov on July 16, 2015

The following is a work of fiction, any resemblances to any person, organization, or place is purely coincidental.


“Has anyone seen my ipod”, John called out to the large common room.  A few people looked over.  Most didn’t acknowledge and just continued doing what they were doing.  A friendly faced man named Mao approached John.  Mao was one of the elected leaders of the commune.  An important man.

“John, How are you today?”, Mao greeted cheerfully as he reached talking distance to John.

“I’m fine, but I can’t find my ipod.”, John explained.

“I know where THE ipod is”, Mao said, “John, it isn’t your ipod.”

“What do you mean, it’s not my ipod.  I bought it.  I brought it here when I joined the commune.”

“I understand.  Do you remember when you joined?  We told you we share everything.  Everything that you have is shared with the commune and everything the commune has is shared with you.”

“Yes.  I was okay with sharing everything.  What does that have to do with my ipod not being mine anymore?  I’m willing to share it, but right now I’d like to use it.”

“I’m sorry John, that’s not how it works.  We have no personal property.  All property and all decisions about property are made communally.  You do not get to decide who uses the ipod and when.  If you would like to use the ipod, you need to put in a request form stating for what purpose you would like to use the ipod.  Right now, it’s about a three week approval process, and then if you get approved, the waiting list for use is about six weeks after that.”

“Are you kidding me?  It’s my ipod!  I didn’t sign up for this.  I signed up for the free lovin’ easy pussy, not to have all my stuff taken from me.  I’m quitting and I’m taking my ipod with me when I find it.”

“I’m sorry John, you can’t quit.  All decisions effecting the commune must be made communally.  You are part of the commune.  Any actions you take must be made by the commune.  You’re a good worker.  I doubt the commune will vote to allow you to leave.”

“I’m going to leave.  You can’t stop me!”

“We can stop you and we will.  You will be severely punished if you take these actions.”

“How can I get permission to leave?”

“You can have it put to a vote and win with a substantial majority, or you can get elected to a leadership position and work to have the rules changed.”

“And, if I can’t accomplish either of those things?”

“The commune rules your life”

“The commune rules my life”